


Burning Desire

by tanyathefaerie



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-13 00:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13558665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanyathefaerie/pseuds/tanyathefaerie
Summary: Bella x Jacob fanfiction, written from both Bella and Jacob's point of viewBased after Edward leaves town. Bella finds that Jacob is the only thing that can hold her together, but is that enough to make her fall for him? Can she return his feelings? And what will happen when Jacob begins turning into a wolf? What will she do?





	1. 01 - Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters or major plot ideas. The characters is the twilight saga are those of Stephanie Meyer. Any characters and plot that are not canon are of my own creation.

(Jacob's POV)

Everything seemed normal as I walked home from Embry's house, I was just entering the door when I heard my dad talking in a frantic tone on the phone.

He turned to see me and I gave him a questioning look "It's okay Charlie, we'll find her" he said down the phone.

My heart began to race. Bella?

"We're on our way" he said finally and put down the phone, he turned to me with a worried look "Bella's gone missing, she never came home from school and no one can find any of the Cullens" my heart was pounding. Oh no.

I threw my bag down and grabbed the car keys "Lets go" I said and like a flash we were out the door. After I helped my dad into the truck and put his chair in the back I wasted no time starting the car and driving to Charlie's.

We got there in no time at all, as I pulled up I saw plenty of cars outside. Looks like they already started organising a search party, good. I parked the car on the side of the street and got out to help my dad. As soon as he was in his chair he wheeled right to Charlie's side, I followed close behind and we asked Charlie what he knew so far.

Sam and his little "gang" were out looking in the woods while several other officers were out trying to locate the Cullens. This is okay, its going to be okay. 

Harry Clearwater joined us and placed a hand on Charlie's back "We'll find her Charlie don't worry" he said, reassuringly.

I nodded in agreement. "So if she's with the Cullens shes safe at least right?" I asked.

Charlie went pale then. Was she not? Was it not just me that hated Edward? 

Just then an officer ran up to us "The Cullens left town" he huffed trying to catch his breath.

No. No no no. She hadn't gone with them. No she would have told someone, or at least left a note. 

Just as we all began to think the same thing I saw a shadow move over from the treeline. I squinted to try and make it out, it looked like a person carrying something.

"Charlie!" I heard a voice yell, it must have been the shadow. Soon it came closer into the light of the street lamp and I saw Sam carrying something.

Bella.

He was carrying Bella, Charlie rushed over as did I and Billy. "Don't worry she's just fine, not a scratch on her, she's just passed out from exhaustion" he said, we collectively let out a breath of relief. 

Charlie took Bella into his arms and carried her towards the house, the officer let everyone know Bella had been found and that she was okay and they could go home. The crowed dissipated and soon it was just me, Sam, Harry and my dad. 

"Hey Jake why don't you go inside and check on Bella and Charlie? I'll be there in a second, I need to talk to Sam and Harry real quick." my dad said nodding towards the house. 

I didn't argue, I wanted to go see Bella anyway. I left and made my way into the house "Charlie?" I called.

"In here Jacob" I heard him say from the living room, I walked in to see him kneeling in front of Bella on the couch. She was still out.

"Is she okay?" I asked standing next to him.

Charlie nodded and stood "She's absolutely fine physically, but until she wakes up I won't know for sure" he said solemnly.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, you could clearly see that she'd been crying. There were traces of mascara down her cheeks. I put my hand on Charlie's shoulder and looked at him "Sit down and relax, I'll make some food. I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten yet" I said.

Charlie nodded and smiled slightly "Yeah, thank you Jake" he said and sat in the arm chair next to the couch. He turned the TV on but kept it on low so not to wake Bella, I guess I wouldn't want to sit in silence either.

I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, lets see what can I cook? Contrary to popular belief I'm actually a pretty good cook, had to learn so I could look after my dad. After all, after my sister went off to college I became his soul carer. 

I whipped up a hearty beef chilli, figured some good warm comfort food would be good for Charlie right now. I scooped a good amount into a bowl and brought it into the living room. 

I handed it to Charlie with a fork and smiled "Here ya go" I said.

Charlie perked up a little and smiled "Ah this is great thank you Jake" he said and took the bowl gratefully.

I nodded and went back into the kitchen. I served up three more bowls and brought it out to Sam, Harry and Billy out front, they were all still standing there talking. I'm pretty sure none have them have eaten yet either. 

As I approached they quietened down and turned to me, I smiled a half smile "I brought food, made Charlie dinner and figured none of you had eaten yet either" I said handing them each a bowl and a fork.

They all grinned and eagerly dug in, guess they were hungry. They all hummed in unified gratitude "This is really great thank you Jacob" Sam said.

I nodded and turned to my dad "I think I'm going to stay here tonight, if its just Charlie here he'll stay up all night waiting for Bella to wake up and after the evening he's had he needs rest" I said. 

Billy nodded in agreement "Yeah I think that's for the best" he said and turned  to Sam "Mind taking me home son?" he asked.

Sam nodded "Of course Billy, no problem" he said.

I smiled slightly "Thanks" I said and handed him my keys. I took the now empty bowls from everyone and made my way back inside. I placed the bowls in the sink and quickly wolfed down a serving of chilli for myself then walked back into the living room. As I suspected Charlie was exhausted, you could see it in his face as he tried not to drift off.

"You should go to bed Charlie, I've already talked to my dad I'm staying here tonight. I'll watch over Bella and I'll come get you if she wakes up." I said looking at him concerned.

For a second it looked like he was about to argue but he looked at Bella and then nodded. He stood and placed his hand on my shoulder "You're a good kid Jake, I'm glad Bells has a friend like you" he said.

I smiled "Thank you, I'm glad too. I'll carry her up to her room so she can sleep better. I'll stay in the chair in the corner. If it looks like she's gonna sleep through the night I'll come down and sleep on the couch" I said. 

Charlie nodded and made his way up the stairs towards his room. I collected his empty bowl and washed up the dishes before going back into the living room and gently scooped Bella into my arms. She was lighter that I'd expected, either that or I'd gotten stronger. Lifting her hadn't disturbed her in the slightest she seemed to move more into me as if taking in my warmth.

I made my way up the stairs and slowly into her room, being careful not to disturb her. I laid her down and pulled her blanket over her and sat down in the chair on the other side of her bed.

It felt like not much time had passed but I seemed to doze off slightly sitting there, I woke up completely when I heard Bella stir. I looked at her and she was still asleep I think, she was frowning. She turned towards me and murmured opening eyes. 

"J-Jacob?" she asked sleepily, still frowning confused.

I smiled slightly "Hey Bells" I said quietly.

"What are you doing here? How'd I get into my room? What time is it?" She asked confused.

"Shh" I hushed soothingly "It's almost 1am, you were found passed out in the woods and I carried you up here. I'm keeping an eye on you while Charlie rests" I answered.

She blinked "The woods?" she asked in a bewildered tone then her eyes widened slightly "Oh." she said then I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes "So it wasn't a dream..." she said quietly.

I reached out and wiped away a tear "What did he do?" I asked. I knew it was Edward, I just knew it was.

She let out a small soft sob "He left me" she whispered as if she was scared to say it. Scared to believe it. That good for nothing son of a bitch hurt her. He hurt her. He hurt Bella. My Bells.

I could see her shoulders shaking in the dark "I should go get your dad, tell him your awake" I said and began to stand up when her hand shot out and grabbed mine.

"No. Don't. Please don't" she said desperately "Please don't leave me" she said quietly.

I sighed and climbed into the bed next to her, she wrapped her arms around my waist and clung to me. I pulled her close to me and wrapped my arms around her as if holding her together. "Never. I will never leave you" I said and her breathing began to steady and her grip loosened. Soon she drifted off once more. I couldn't move without disturbing her so I decided to just sleep next to her like this. I'm sure I could explain it to Charlie if he asked.

Tonight has been one hell of a night. At least I know one thing for sure. If I ever lay eyes on that Cullen ass hole again he'll be sorry.


	2. 02 - Deafening

(Bella's POV)

Time passed like it was nothing, I don't know how long it had been since he'd left. Days, weeks, months all blurred into one endless cycle of empty days and horrible nightmares. I think it was December now? It had gotten significantly colder and there was frost outside, no snow yet though. The days were okay, when I wasn't being distracted by school Jacob would come over to check on me. We'd just watch things on tv or play silly games but it was nice. Spending time with Jake was the only time I felt I could actually genuinely smile. 

But the nights were the worst. I had awful nightmares every night, I don't even remember most of them. Just one key element. Him. I would wake up every night screaming, I knew Charlie was worried about me and didn't know how to help. I tried my best to fake a smile and reassure him that I'm okay but I knew he knew I wasn't. 

"Bella?" I heard Charlie say as he knocked on my door. I turned to look at him from my window sill and smiled my fake smile "Jake's here to see you" he said smiling slightly.

My fake smile melted away and was replaced by a genuine one as I saw my favourite person peek his head around Charlie.

"Jake" I whispered and stood up excited to see my best friend.  It was weird to call him that but then again not, for the past few months he's been the only person I see or talk too and spend time with so yeah. He's my best friend.

Jake moved around Charlie and into my room. He embraced me in his forever warm arms and hugged me tight "Hey Bells" He said chuckling lightly. It felt good to feel his chest vibrate with his laughter. It made me feel as if I was too. 

I saw Charlie from the corner of my eye smile at us then leave. "Its good to see you Jake" I said still hugging him.

"Yeah it is" he said then pulled away and grinned at me. I love that smile. It made me feel so warm inside, made me feel whole again, as if i wasn't breaking apart anymore. It was infectious, I felt my smile grow too. "So what's on the agenda today? Games, Family Guy? Or you could trust me and let me choose?" he said with a cheeky grin.

Seeing him with such a devious look in his eyes made me actually want to get up and do what ever he wanted. I actually had motivation. I grinned "Okay sure, you decide" I said.

He laughed and clapped once "Excellent, get changed into something warm and put your shoes on" he said and moved to the door "I'll be waiting downstairs." he said then left.

I laughed a little. I was actually excited. What did he have planned? I did as he asked and put on my black jeans, long sleeved navy shirt and thick dark brown sweater that I stole from Jake. I inhaled deeply and smiled, it smelled like him, it made me feel safe and okay when he wasn't here. Of course he has no idea that's the reason I stole it. I just told him it was warm and comfy and he let me have it.

I grabbed my phone and made my way down stairs, I heard Charlie and Jacob talking in the living room. I slowed as I heard my name.

"Bella seems to really perk up when she sees you Jake" Charlie said.

"What's she like when I'm not here?" Jake asked quietly. As if he was scared of the answer.

Charlie sighed "It's awful Jake. She doesn't eat, she doesn't speak, she barely even moves from the spot in front of her window" he said "The nights are the worst part though. She wakes up screaming the house down, it's deafening. It makes me sick to hear the pain in those screams. I'm at my wits end Jake, I don't know what to do or how to help" he said whispering the last part.

Jake sighed "I hate that Cullen. I hate him for hurting her like this. For hurting Bella. My Bells" he said infuriated. 

His Bells?

"You and me both kid. If he shows his face in this town again he's got another thing coming. He sure as hell isn't getting anywhere near Bella" Charlie stated.

Well there goes any hope I had of fooling them that I was okay. 

"No way in hell. She deserves so much better than him. She deserves a guy that is kind to her, that tells her how beautiful she is, that makes her feel appreciated, a guy that would never leave her." Jacob said in a determined tone. 

Would never leave. 

I thought back to that night, when I asked Jacob not to leave me. I heard him say never but I thought it was my imagination. Maybe it wasn't.

I shook my head and made my way down the rest of the stairs making my presents known "Ready to go?" I asked Jacob.

He turned to me and grinned "I am if you are" he said.

I nodded enthusiastically then turned to Charlie "See you later dad" I said and made my way to the door.

Jake laughed and waved to Charlie "Don't worry, I'll keep her safe" Jake said.

"I know you will. See you two later" he said and then we left. I climbed into Jake's car and put on my seat belt. 

When Ed... He used to say "I'll keep her safe" Charlie would be cold and wouldn't believe him but when Jake said it he sounded so sincere in saying "I know you will" did he really trust Jake more than Him? I guess I couldn't blame Charlie, when He used to say that I did almost die so I guess I can understand.

Jake stated the engine pulling me from my thoughts, I smiled at him "So where are we headed?" I asked.

Jake laughed and tapped the side of his nose "Its a surprise remember" he said. 

I huffed looked out the window "Yeah yeah" I said defeated.

Jake chuckled and pulled me closer "Come 'ere" he said.

I shuffled close to him and he put his arm around me. He was so warm, it felt so nice to be in his arms like this. It felt right. Relaxing.

I felt my self slowly drifting off sat there "You might as well catch a couple z's Bells. We've got a while of driving before we get where we're going" He said, I nodded sleepily and moved into him more so I could fully feel his warmth and soothing smell. "Besides looks like you might need some rest anyway" he said and kissed the top of my head.  I hummed in agreement and just like that I was gone.

"Hey Bells?" I heard Jacob say softly. I mumbled and turned my face into his chest, it shook with his laughter "Come on we're almost there" he said.

I perked up and looked at him, I forgot we were going somewhere. He grinned at my excitement. Where are we? I looked out the window for clues and found nothing. What even was the time? How long had I been out?

"It's 12pm, you've been out for about three hours and we're in Seattle" he said answering all my questions.

I looked at him in surprise "How did you do that?" I asked bewildered.

He chuckled "Do what Bells?" he asked keeping his eyes on the road.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I asked.

Jake looked over at me then and smiled "You're easy for me to read Bella" he said and brushed his long hair behind his ear. Huh, He could never read me. I was the only one He couldn't read. Jake laughed again and turned his attention back to the road "That Cullen guy didn't know you as well as I do Bells" he said. 

He did it again! He read my mind. I laughed once icily "You are nothing like Edward." I stated spitting his name out like it was venom. I surprised myself, I hadn't been able to say or even think his name since he left. 

"I sure as hell hope not" Jacob said almost sounding disgusted by the thought of being like him.

I sighed and leaned back into him "So what are we doing in Seattle?" I asked.

Jake put his arm around me once more, other hand still firmly gripping the wheel "Well its been months and all you've done is sit at home or go to school so I thought it would be a good idea for you to get out, like way out. Have a change of scenery. Charlie thought so too. So I've been given permission to take you out and spend as much money on you as I like and not back down if you protest" He said eyeing me on that last part.

I frowned, I knew I couldn't argue with him. He was going to spend money on me whether I protested or not. Doesn't mean I'll be quiet about my dislike for being spoiled but I'll accept it. "Okay Mr. I'm in charge, what's on the itinerary for today?" I asked.

"First we're going to grab a quick lunch, then we're going to go shopping in the city centre" I grumbled in disdain, I don't like shopping "Don't worry we're going to some really cool book stores and music stores" He added I relaxed into him, okay so he really did know me well. "Yes I do know you well" he stated.

I smacked him playfully on the chest "Stop doing that" I said, referring to him reading my mind.

Jacob chucked and continued "Then we're going to watch a movie at the theatre and then we'll drive home and stop for dinner in Port Angeles" he finished.

I sighed, I'm not going to lie it sounded like a really great day he had planned "And I'm guessing I'm not allowed to pay for any of this?" I said.

"Nope, not one penny" he said.

I groaned "I don't want you spending all your money on me" I said.

"I've had this day planned for a while so I have saved a fair amount of money for it. Besides not all of the money I had today is mine. Charlie gave me some money so I can buy you things you want" He said. 

Okay it was pretty sweet of him to plan all this out for me let alone plan in advance and save money. I really don't deserve a friend like Jake.

"You most certainly do deserve this. You deserve a lot more than you think you do Bells" he said.

I groaned loudly "Dammit Jake stay out of my head" I said exasperated.

Jake chuckled and continued driving, we were almost in the city. Thinking more about what he had planned the more excited I got. Today was going to be great.


	3. 03 - Seattle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is far from canon and its kinda cheesy and you can absolutely skip over it and it wouldn't affect your comprehension of the story at all but Bella was so destroyed when Edward left and I thought it would be nice for her to have a good happy day so here ya go

(Jacob's POV)

Driving into the city was nice,  there wasn't as much traffic as I'd anticipated and Bella sang along quietly to the songs on the radio. I'd been so excited for today, I must have been planning it for almost two months. Now that the weather was so cold it would be a perfect opportunity to snuggle up to each other in front of a fire at La Push tonight. That part I didn't tell her.

Soon we were pulling up outside an small cafe in the city. We got out and made our way inside out of the harsh cold that had come with December's arrival. We sat at a table and looked through the menu. Gosh everything looked so good, I looked up at Bella and she was frowning, everything was also a little pricey. That's why she was frowning.

"Don't you dare order the cheapest item so you don't feel guilty" I said looking back at the menu. I saw her look up in slight surprise then stick her tongue out at me.

"Quit reading my mind you weirdo" she said, but she didn't argue. Good, I thought triumphantly "You can wipe that smug grin off your face too" she added laughing slightly.

I chucked and shook my head, a waitress came over just after that exchange "You two ready to order?" she asked with a smile.

I looked at Bella and she nodded pointing to the chicken club sandwich and tropical fruit smoothie, I nodded and turned to the waitress "Yeah she's have the chicken club with tropical fruit smoothie and I'll have the grilled turkey sandwich with a side of fries and a coke thanks" I said folding the menu's and handing them to the waitress.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your drinks" she said with a polite smile and walked away.

I turned to Bella and smiled, to my surprise she was already smiling at me "You enjoying our day so far?" I asked slightly amused.

I saw her blush slightly and she looked around "You really didn't have to do all this. Nobody has ever planned a whole day for me before" she said then shrugged "Except my mom but I'd always refuse and eventually she gave up trying to spoil me" she added.

I nodded, from what I'd heard of Renee it doesn't surprise me "Well I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. I wanted just one day with my best friend where I could see her genuinely smile and know I was the cause" I said simply.

Bella smiled, my favourite smile, that one where she's trying not to so she bites her lip slightly and looks down. Before she could reply the waitress came back with our drinks and said our food would be out shortly, thank god I'm starving. My appetite has been growing lately but I guess I put that down to the rest of me growing too. I've been going through a growth spurt I guess, I've gotten taller and filled out muscle wise. 

I pushed the thought from my mind and sipped my drink, Bella did the same and she hummed in delight. I chuckled "Good?" I asked raising an eye brow. 

Bella nodded enthusiastically "So good, wanna try" she asked. 

I shook my head "No thanks Bells, smoothies are more your thing than mine" I said. 

It wasn't long till our food arrived and we both dug in and finished quickly. I paid the bill and Bella insisted on paying the tip at least so I let her, we'd move on quicker if I did and I was excited for our next activity.

We got into the car and drove further into the city and I parked in a lot near loads of music stores. I got out of the car and walked to Bella's side as she was stepping out she stepped on a piece of ice and began to slip, I caught her before she fell and chuckled "Was bound to happen at least once today, good thing I was standing next to you" I said and helped her stand up straight. 

Bella paused and looked down "Yeah, lucky" she said solemnly.

I frowned "What is it?" I asked, concerned for the sudden change of mood.

She shook her head and looked up "Nothing, it's fine" said and smiled "Come on lets go" she said gripping my arm to steady herself.

I continued to frown but let it slide, my guess is that it was something to do with that Cullen bastard and if that's the case I won't make her tell me.

We made our way into the nearest store and Bella went straight for the CDs. I followed close behind and watched her pick up several disks looking at them. She looked through the entire store picking out a few CDs before she looked at me signalling that she was done. I smiled and payed for the things she'd picked out. 

We continued going into many different music shops and book stores, by the end of it it was getting to be late afternoon and be both had a good haul, Bella had a large amount of CDs and a few books. I myself had a few posters and some albums I thought looked cool. We put our bags in the back of the car and got in.

Bella looked at me and grinned "What next?" she said excitedly. It felt amazing to see her having such a good time and know that I was the only person to see this at this moment. It was because of me, she may not be mine but that smile sure is. 

I grinned and started the car "Next we're going to see a movie" I said and drove to the movie theatre.

When we got there I walked up to the desk and asked for two tickets to see the latest comedy movie. I know Bells has never really been a fan of romance movies and comedy is sort of our thing so I thought it'd be perfect. Judging by the grin on Bella's face I was right.

We grabbed pop corn and drinks and made our way into the movie. I think its safe to say we both laughed so much our stomachs hurt. By the time the credits were rolling we were both clutching our stomachs and wiping tears from our eyes.

"That was such a good movie" Bella said still chuckling as we put or trash in the bin.

I nodded in agreement and grabbed her hand as we walked back to the car, surprisingly she didn't retract her hand. Maybe she was still thinking of the movie and didn't really think about it.

We got in to the car and we started driving back to Forks "So where do you want to stop to eat in Port Angeles?" I asked as we neared the town.

Bella cringed slightly and looked out of the window "No where fancy please" she said quietly. 

Again I'm guessing because of Edward "As you wish, how about we just grab some McDonald's and eat it in the car. We can stay in the warm, just us and listen to one of the CD's you bought today" I said.

Bella looked at me and I smiled at her, she smiled back and moved so she was sat as close to me as possible "That sounds perfect, thank you Jake" she said.

I wrapped my arm around her and continued driving. I knew her way better than that snooty Cullen did, I could make her so much happier if she'd only give me a chance.

Before long I pulled into the drive through of McDonald's and ordered. I payed for the food and collected it.

"Can we eat it back in Forks, just park somewhere quiet and peaceful just out of town?" Bella asked holding the food.

I nodded "Anything for you Bells" I said and drove towards Forks. I drove around the town and through the woods towards La Push "I'll take you to one of my secret hide outs" I said as she gave me a quizzical look as we neared the Res.

I pulled over in a small part of the woods that opened up so you could see the night sky. I put the car in park and picked out one of the CDs from the bags in the back and put it on. Soft sounds of a cello began to play and I smiled, of course Bella would pick something like this.

Bella looked up to the sky and smiled "This is perfect Jake" she said and looked back at me "Thank you for today, honestly it has meant so much to me" she added.

I smiled and grabbed the bag with the food in pulling out my share "It's not over yet Bells, come on eat up I've got one more surprise for you" I said digging into my food.

She looked at me raising her eyebrow but began eating anyways. Once we'd finished I put all our wrappers in a bad and placed it aside to throw out later. I started the car and continued to drive towards La Push. Once we got there Bella finally piped up "Okay so what are we doing here? What's thee last surprise?" she asked turning to me.

I smiled and turned off the engine "We're gonna sit around a fire by the beach in my favourite spot" I said and got out of the car. I say Bella grin and jump out of the car following closely behind me. We walked to the edge of the beach where it began to blend into the trees. There was a fallen tree that had been there for a long while, I put some fallen branches and kindling in the fire pit Embry, Quil and I had made years ago. I lit the fire with the lighter I always carried with me and sat on the trunk of the tree. 

I tapped the space next to me and Bella sat down "Wow, this place is nice. It's so quiet and away from everything" she said looking around.

I smiled and nodded "Yeah it's one of my favourite hide aways. It's my place to go when I want to get away from everything" I said and put my arm around Bella "And now it's yours too" I said.

Bella moved into me appreciating the warmth "Thank you Jake" she said.

We stayed there for hours just looking at the stars and talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It was the best night of my life. The more time I spend with Bella the deeper I fall for her.

I can only hope that one day I can break through and help her realise she feels the same.


	4. 04 - Adrenaline

(Bella's POV) 

It had been a few months since the day Jacob had planned for me and things were okay. I was sleeping a little better, new years had passed and I think it's mid spring now. But since school had started I've been seeing less and less of him, and the nightmares are coming back. Charlie can't stand the screaming, I know he's worried sick, but I can't stop it. The pain is the only thing that reminds me he was real.

"Okay that's it" Charlie said as I walked up to my car "You're going to Jacksonville, to live with your mother" he said stopping in front of me

I shook my head "I'm not leaving Forks"

"Bells" He interrupted "He's not coming back" he said with a sigh.

"I know" I said looking down

"It's just not normal, this behaviour. Quite frankly it's scaring the hell out of me and your mother" he said, I bit my lip and looked away trying not to get emotional "Baby I... I don't want you to leave. I don't, but just go. Go to Jacksonville. Make some new friends"

I shook my head again "I like my old friends" I said persistently and its true I did like them.

"Well you never see them anymore" He said and then I got an idea that'd help him worry less.

"I do, I... I'm gonna go, uh, shopping tomorrow with Jessica" I said hoping it'd fool him.

"You hate shopping" he said sceptically.

I sighed "I... I need a girls night out" I stated, that would get him.

Charlie shrugged "Alright, girls night. Shopping" I nodded and half smiled "I like it, go buy some stuff" he said and opened the car door for me. 

I climbed in and waited for him to walk away before I dialled up Jessica's number. She picked up  after a few rings "Hello?" she asked in her usual sweet voice she used around Mike.

I gathered my energy and tried to sound normal, like I used to. "Hey Jessica, its Bella" I said.

I heard a bit of mumbling in the background before Jessica responded "Bella Swan?" she asked, seemingly confused, not that I blamed her.

I half smiled  and nodded despite the fact she couldn't see me "Yeah Bella Swan" I said.

More mumbling "Oh my god Bella, you went AWOL on us, whats up?" she asked with a small laugh in her voice.

I resisted the urge to hang up and go back to being "AWOL" and mustered a half convincing laugh "Yeah, I'm fine" I lied "Listen are you  free tomorrow night, I was thinking we should hang out, see a movie, shop, or something. Y'know, get out" I said rubbing my forehead already regretting this. 

I could hear the excitement on the other end "Yeah! Yeah definitely" She said "Totally we can see a movie then get some food, maybe Italian?" She suggested.

I instantly cringed remembering my  first visit to the Cullen's home "Maybe Chinese instead" I said shaking the memories from my mind. After a few more minutes of making plans we hung up and I started my car ready to drive to school. 

**********************

Okay, deep breath Bella I thought you can do this, its just hanging out with Jessica, like old times. Except it wasn't.

"Bella!" Jessica called as she jogged up to where I was standing outside the movie theatre.

I smiled and waved "Hey Jess, its good to see you" I said, it wasn't a lie either, it was really nice to see her, to feel normal again for just a second.

Jessica nodded smiling brightly "Its good to see you too, like I know we see each other at school but like, its like seeing a ghost at this point" she said as we walked into the theatre "No offence or anything" she said quickly "Its just since the Cullens moved away its like you were just..." she paused, looking at me. 

I had begun gritting my teeth and clenching my fists and hadn't even realised it. I took a deep breath and relaxed putting on a fake smile "I'm sorry, I'm fine" I lied again. If Jake had been here he'd have known right away that was a lie but even if Jessica knew she didn't touch on it.

"We'll just talk about something else, 'kay?" She asked with a surprisingly soft tone and warm smile. I actually did relax after that and genuinely smiled before nodding "So what do you want to see?" she asked.

*****************

I'd ended up strong arming Jessica into watching a zombie flick with me, I enjoyed the movie but regretted it after as Jessica would not stop complaining, I think she was talking about Leprosy as we were walking out of the theatre. I was barely listening and nodded making sounds of agreement as I looked around. I stopped in my tracks when my eyes landed on a group of guys at the end of the street to out right.

I suddenly remembered when those guys surrounded me, and Edward turned up out of nowhere to rescue me. I wondered if he'd do the same again if I was in danger. 

"Keep walking" I jumped out of my skin, seeing him. He was there. Except he wasn't. Edward.

Jessica stepped in front of me as he faded into thin air "Dude, come on" she said obviously wanting to go. I heard those guys calling out to us and I thought about it again. He appeared, I can make him do that again. 

"I think I know those guys" I said gesturing to the guys and their motorbikes at the end of the road. 

Jessica looked at them briefly and looked very uncomfortable "Well... They seem great, can we go?" she asked.

I knew it was a bad idea. A mistake. But I had to see him. 

"I'm just gonna see something" I said before turning and beginning to walk towards the catcalling men that reeked of cheep booze, cigarettes and desperation. But, I was desperate too.

"Alright we got a taker" said one of the larger men.

"Turn around" He said as he appeared just as he had moments before. For a second I began turning around, but then he disappeared. I needed more. I turned back around and took strong confident steps towards them. 

As soon as I reached them I realised what a stupid and reckless thing I was doing "Sorry, I thought you were someone else" I said, my bravado beginning to fade.

The man smiled and shrugged "Its okay, I'll be whoever you want me to be" he said, but you cant be him. I thought about walking away but I couldn't "So, what do you say?" he said climbing on his bike and biting his lip as he looked me up and down, as if I was a piece of meat. 

I thought about climbing on and then he appeared again "You promised me, nothing reckless" he said. Pain in his voice. Good, I wanted him to hurt like I did. 

"You promised, it would be like you never existed" I said quietly. Anger and pride took over and I climbed on the back of the bike "You lied" I said.

"You say something babe?" The man asked before shaking his head "You know what, never mind" he said before revving the bike and pulling into the street. It was terrifying and exhilarating, horrible and tantalising. I kind of loved it. 

Then he appeared again. In the middle of the road. The bike was going to hit him and I panicked "Stop!" I yelled "Stop, stop, stop"

He did and I let out a breath of relief before Edward disappeared again. I had to be reckless to get him back. Well then, that's exactly what I'll do.

I got off the bike and walked back to Jessica who was at the corner where we'd just drove off looking at me as if I just broke out of prison "Um, what the hell's wrong with you?" she asked as I approached "Just curious" she said. 

"I thought that I saw something" I said as we began to walk back to the path and towards the Chinese restaurant we were planning on going to.

Jessica scoffed "You- Oh, okay, you're insane, or suicidal" she said, she wasn't wrong "that 'home boy' could have been a psycho" she said quoting home boy sarcastically "I was about to end up in an FBI interview room like some lame TV show" she said. Which I thought was actually kinda funny as Jess was born for Drama television. 

I sighed "That was such a rush" I said ignoring her rant.

She scoffed again and shook her head "Awesome, awesome, you're an adrenaline junkie now? You could go bungee jumping, you don't have to hop on the back of some looser's motorcycle" she said before calling me crazy under her breath. 

I made up for my display by paying for Jessica's dinner and buying some new clothes with her. She forgave me after I bought her a pair of shoes.

But I couldn't get what she said out of my mind. Adrenaline junkie. I guess she was right. Adrenaline. That's what I needed to see him.


	5. 05 - Distraction

(Jacob's POV) 

 

I was in my workshop when a familiar sound roused me out of my zone. The loud clunking of the rabbit.

Bella.

I grinned widely and ran out to greet her. "Bella!" I called as she got out the truck, I hugged her tightly "Where the hell have you been loca?" I asked.  I missed her warm cinnamon like smell. Wait her smell. It was stronger. Maybe she was just wearing more perfume than usual. 

Bella laughed and hugged me back "I uh, I got you something" she said stepping away and towards the truck. I raised an eyebrow and look suspiciously at the tarp covered mound in the back of the truck. "Its a little crazy" she said as she pulled the tarp back to reveal two motorcycles. Well what was left of two motorcycles. 

I chuckled "Wow, scrap metal, you shouldn't have" I said looking at her quizzically.

She shrugged "I saved them from the junk yard, I figured they'll cost more to fix than they're worth, but then I figured if I had a mechanic friend to help me out?" she said raising her eyebrows in a questioning way.

I nodded "Ah, me, being the mechanic type friend" I said eyeing over the wrecked shells that were in the back of the truck I had rebuilt for her. Of course she'd come to me, not that I wanted it any other way, but still this was wildly out of character "Since when are you into motorcycles?" I asked

"Since now" Bella sighed "I get it if you think this is really stupid and reckless" she said.

"Its completely stupid and reckless" I said, it was, it could even get us both killed if we rode these. But I couldn't resist spending the time with her fixing these up, neither could I resist a challenge like this "When do we start?" I asked, feeling my heart race as I saw Bella's face light up.

"Uh, now. Please" She said smiling brightly. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I nodded. I pulled the tarp off of the bike completely and began to grip the bike to lift it out of the truck "Be careful those things are actually really heavy" Bella said, I scoffed and lifted the bike out of the back of the truck and placed it onto the ground. Bella looked at me shocked and shook her head "Jake, you're like... Buff. How did that happen, you're like sixteen I don't get it" she said.

I laughed, appreciating the way she was looking at me "Age is just a number baby, what are you like forty now?" I joked as I began to push the bike to my workshop.

Bella nodded as she followed "Feels like that sometimes" she said. I rolled my eyes and continued, best looking forty year old I've ever seen.

After a little while of taking apart the majority of the bike the real fun began. I started to work on the body, making sure there were no rusted parts that were too far gone. As I was working Bella got up and switched off the radio. "That was a good song, you didn't like it?" I asked as she sat back down.

"I don't really like music anymore, kind of" she said quietly. I knew there was much more to it than that but I left it, I wanted this time together to be happy, even if it was only a distraction for her. 

I nodded and got back to work "Okay, no more music" I said.

Bella relaxed and leaned forward "So I was thinking, if we're going to do this everyday, and hopefully we will" my heart jumped "We're going to have to like fit some homework in there, I don't want Billy thinking I'm some bad influence or something" she said.

I chuckled and turned to look at her "You influence me? Please" I said before going back to the bike.

Bella scoffed and stuttered "Are you - I'm older than you" she argued "So that makes me the influencer and you the influencee" she finalised.

I turned back around and put down my wrench "No, no, no, with my size and knowledge base actually makes me older than you" I said "Because of your general paleness and lack of knowhow" I stated before going back to the bike once again.

"I convinced you to build two wheeled death machines with me, don't you think that makes you kinda young and naive?" she asked. 

Yeah like it was so hard to convince me, I took a deep breath and turned around to look at her "Okay, so where do we stand?" I asked. 

"I'm thirty-five, you might be like thirty-two" she said smiling at me.

I laughed "Oh come on" I said.

"Yo, Jake you there?" I heard Quil call as he and Embry approached the workshop.

Bella panicked "It's okay it's just my boys" I said instantly cringing at myself. I stood as they walked in "Hey guys this is Bella, Bella thats Quil and Embry" I said as Bella nodded to them. 

"I'm Quil Ateara" he said flirtatiously "So the bike building story is true?" he asked.

Bella nodded "Oh yeah yeah, I taught him everything he knows" she joked.

Quil nodded "What about the part where you're his girlfriend?" he asked.

My heart stopped and my face flushed, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole right there and then, I couldn't even look at Bella. 

"Uhhh" Bella stuttered "We-we're friends" she said.

Kill me now.

Embry laughed "oooooo burn" he said.

I cringed and shook my head "Actually if you remember I said she's a girl and a friend" I said trying to save myself. 

"Embry do you remember him making that distinction?" he asked.

Embry shook his head "Nope" he said, saboteurs both of them.

Bella scoffed "So you both have girlfriends? That's awesome" she said setting me up to knock them down just as they had me.

I laughed "Yeah right, Quil is actually taking his cousin to prom" I said. 

Quil blushed "Yeah well it's still alright" he said as Embry and I laughed "You want funny Black? I'll give you funny" he said as he charged at me.

No way was I gonna back down. I met him head on and began to wrestle with him. Proving my dominance infront of Bella. 

I'll show her I'm not just the kid she used to make mud pies with.


	6. 06 - Learning

(Bella's POV) 

In the space of a few weeks Jake and I became like a well oiled machine, like part of the bikes we were rebuilding. Days passed like hours as we laughed and worked, a large part of me wanted the days to last longer than they did, because when I was Jake, that hole in my chest Edward left... It was almost like it was gone.

I pushed him as we walked out of his workshop towards my truck. "Quil keeps asking to come over, I think he likes you a little too much" Jake said he said. I raised an eyebrow at him, there was nothing against Quil, he was nice and all but... He wasn't Edward. If anyone at all had a shot. It was Jake, even then Jake was my best friend. It would be weird.

I shook my head "Well I'm not really into the whole cougar thing y'know" I said laughing.

Jake chuckled "What is with you and age? I mean how old was that Cullen guy anyway?" he asked.

That was it. Just a simple question, but it felt like a thousand poison coated daggers right to the chest. It had been so long since it had hurt like this. But there it was, that giant gaping hole in my chest. 

I didn't reply, too preoccupied by my inner torment, and climbed into my truck.

That night, the nightmares we back to the worst they ever were. I was roused awake by Charlie, whom I presumed was awoken by my screaming.

Charlie sighed as I slowly sat up "I thought this thing was starting to work but, I guess not" he said softly as he gestured to the dream catcher Jacob gave me for my birthday. I nodded and sighed when he stroked my cheek affectionately. "Can I ask you something?" he asked "Hanging out with Jake seems to take your mind off things for a bit doesn't it?" he asked. I nodded. It did. Jake always made me feel better, like warm soup when you have a cold. Charlie nodded again "You know, sometimes. You gotta learn to love whats good for you" he said softly "Y'know what I mean?" he asked. 

I looked down, I knew he was right but a large part of me didn't listen. Jake is my friend nothing more. 

"Of course what do I know? I'm just a terminal bachelor" he said "Famous ladies man" he added. I chuckled and rolled my eyes before laying back down. "Okay, go to bed. I love you" he said before getting up and leaving me to sleep.

*******************

The next morning Jake and I were on our way to test out our bikes, it felt like only yesterday we started fixing them, now we were done. Ready for a test drive, part of me was sad.

"If I told you I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you have said?" Jacob asked turning to me as I drove.

I frowned at the question, why would he ask that? "Are you doubting your mad skills?" I asked looking over at him.

Jake smiled my favourite warm smile and laughed lightly "No, definitely not, I mean they'll run fine" he said before losing his smile "It's just uh, maybe if I was smart I would have dragged out the rebuild a bit" He said as he looked out the window. 

I froze slightly as I felt my stomach churn slightly. As if what Jake just said gave me some sort of butterflies. I shook my head and looked at him briefly, he was looking at his hands.

"If you told me you couldn't fix these bikes I'd say, that's really too bad but we're just going to have to find something else to do" I said honestly. I really wanted these bikes but... Spending time with Jake was better. 

I looked over at Jake again and saw my favourite smile back on his face, seeing that smile sparked something in me. Something I couldn't quite place. What was that?

I looked away and frowned at the cliffs "Is... Is that Sam Uley?" I asked pointing to the cliffs.

Jake sighed "Yeah, him and his cult" He said somewhat venomously, I watched as they pushed a struggling guy off the cliff. 

My stomach dropped and I pulled over "Oh my god" I said getting out of the truck "Did you see that?" I asked running over to the other side of the road for a better look.

Jacob laughed and I turned to look at him confused "They're not really fighting Bella" he said "They're cliff diving, scary as hell but a total rush" he explained.

"A rush?" I asked. Adrenaline. That's what I needed. I had almost forgot. 

"Most of us jump from lower down, we leave the showing off to Sam and his disciples" Jake said unmistakably hateful.

"You have some kind of beef with him or something?" I asked making my way back to Jake and the truck. 

Jake shrugged as I stood next to him "I don't know, they just think they run this place" he said before chuckling "Embry used to call them hall monitors on steroids. Now look at him." he said disdainfully.

I frowned "That's Embry?" I asked, it didn't look like the guy I had met a month ago. 

"Yeah" Jake said turning away from the cliffs

"What happened to him?" I asked curiously.

"He missed some school, then all of a sudden he started following Sam around like a little puppy" he said "Same thing happened to Paul and Garret. Sam keeps giving me this look, like he's waiting for me or something. It's kinda starting to freak me out" he explained.

A sudden flash of protective rage rushed through me but it was gone as quickly as it came, what was that.  "Well you should just avoid him" I said. 

Jake nodded and looked into my eyes "I try" he said. In that moment I knew Jake was truly scared of Sam, and I wanted nothing more that to strike him where he stood on that cliff above the water. 

Why was I so protective? If anything Jake would be the one protecting me. 

Soon we were standing on the dirt road with the bikes, I climbed on mine and waited for Jake to tell me what to do. I put my hands on the handles and Jake smiled "You look scared" he commented.

I resented that, I shook my head and straightened up on the bike "I'm not" I said as confidently as I could, even though I was a little scared.

Jake nodded "Alright" he said disbelievingly and put his hand on mine "This is the brake" he said. As soon as his fingers touched mine my heart raced. Not in the way I was expecting it to either but different. The way it felt when Jake touched me, like electricity shooting up my arm and warmth spreading in my hand. What the hell? I looked up at Jake and he cleared his throat. I blushed wildly, here he was trying to teach me to ride a bike and I couldn't even focus. He put his other hand on mine and I ignored the same feeling "The clutch" he said. I pulled in the clutch and he stepped away removing his hands. I pushed aside the disappointment I felt at the loss of contact and flicked on the gas.

"Good" Jake said "Now slowly release the clutch" he said stepping away. The real fear set in now. Was I really about to do this?

Then there was a hand on mine, but not Jake's "Bella" He said "Stop" I panicked and released the clutch too quickly, stalling the bike.

"Woah" Jake said, stepping towards me "You okay?" he asked worriedly.

I took a few deep breaths and nodded "I wanna go again" I said before starting the engine again and slowly releasing the clutch. I lurched forward and it already felt amazing. Then I saw him. This is what I wanted except I didn't, I kept passing him again and again. My head begun to feel fuzzy, I didn't want to see him like this. I began to lose control of the bike and I heard Jake yell about the brakes.

I couldn't think and I panicked before I was launched off the bike and rolled into a big rock. I was slowly trying to get up and suddenly Jake was at my side "I want to go again" I said looking past him at the bike.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Jake asked. Maybe I was. 

"I wanna go again" I repeated, trying to get up but Jake stopped me.

"No, forget it" He said sternly "No more bikes" he stated. I looked at him and saw his expression. He looked worried, not just worried, scared. I rested back on my knees watching him "Oh man your head" he said. I frowned and reached up to my head. 

Just as my finger tips touched my scalp a nauseating pain shot through my head right to my stomach "Ow" I said pulling my hand away, I saw the blood on my hand and felt panic race through me "Oh my god I'm sorry" I said quickly. Bleeding was bad, bleeding was dangerous. 

Jake frowned "You're apologising for bleeding?" he asked confused. 

In that moment I realised Jake wasn't Edward, and I was actually glad of that fact "Yeah I guess I am" I said looking down.

Jake smiled warmly "It's just blood Bella, no big deal" he said standing and taking off his shirt. Wow, Jake really was buff. He gently applied the shirt to my bleeding head and I smiled slightly, Jake smiled back at me before looking back at my wound "What are you staring at?" he asked.

I smiled a little wider looking at him, that feeling was back. That strange spark. "You're sort of beautiful" I said softly.

Jake smiled and chuckled a little "How hard did you hit your head?" he asked.

I blushed and looked down raising my hand to my head "I don't know" I said softly. 

Jake chuckled again and lifted me up to stand "Come on, lets get you home" he said softly and helped me into the truck before lifting the bikes back into the back and then driving me home.


	7. 07 - Fire

(Jacob POV)

After Bella assured me she was fine I left her house and went back home. I stayed alert all night in case the phone rang and Bella needed me. The next few days passed like molasses, the only thing that made it bearable were the few texts I got from Bella throughout the day. 

"Come on Jake will you quit moping over your phone" Quil jested as he nudged my arm.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, putting my phone down "Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked looking at my friend apologetically.

Quil rolled his eyes and continued "I was saying, have you noticed no-one else has joined Sam's little cult since Embry?" he asked. 

I shifted uneasily and shook my head. I know Sam was waiting for me, I was next. I just didn't know when or how. Maybe drugs? I don't know. I was shook out of my thought when my phone buzzed, I grabbed it and relaxed seeing Bella's name on my screen. 

Bella:

Hey Jake, me and a few friends are going to see Face Punch tonight. Wanna come?

I smiled a little, true I hated Bella's "friends" but it would be worth seeing her.

Jake:

Sure, see you then :)

*****************

That night I met Bella at the movie theater in Seattle and saw only one other person with her. I raised a questioning eyebrow at her as I approached "I thought you said a few friends, not one pale face?" I asked as I greeted her with a hug.

She laughed lightly and hugged me back, I reveled in that short moment "Yeah I'm just gonna call the other's while I get the tickets. Mike this is Jake, Jake this is Mike" She said introducing me and the inferior male. 

I looked at him and felt my stomach churn, I could see him watching Bella's ass as she walked away to phone her other friends. I wanted to knock him out right there but that wouldn't go down well with Bella. Instead I swallowed my anger and jealousy and attempted small talk "So, Face Punch huh? You like action movies?" I asked. 

I smirked seeing Mike squirm "Not really no" he said looking away again.

I let out a short laugh "I heard it sucks, bad" I said.

I saw the irritation on the guys face and enjoyed him being threatened by me "You know, are you even old enough to see this movie?" he asked "Y'know without adult supervision"

Cheep shot pale face.

I shrugged "Yeah well you know she's buying my ticket" I said as Bella made her way back to us.

"Jessica bailed, and Angela got the stomach flu so Eric is taking care of her, so... It's just us three" she said. 

I smiled at her "Great" I said, less insufferable people.

"Great" Mike mumbled begrudgingly. 

We made our way into the theater and found our seats. The movie was terrible as expected but at least it was so bad it was funny. I instinctively held my hand out on the arm rest for Bella to hold as she does sometimes. 

Not even halfway through the movie that Mike guy gets up in a hurry mumbling that he might throw up. I laugh and follow Bella out into the hall "What a marshmallow" I said chuckling. Bella laughed and shook her head "You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach, someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit" I said. Someone like me.

Bella laughed an nodded "I'll keep an eye out for that" she said as she made her way to the stairs. I followed and held her had "I feel bad, he probably has that flu that's going around" she said casually pulling her hand away.

I frowned "What, I can't hold your hand?" I asked.

Bella shook her head looking up at me "No, of course you can" she said "I just, think it means something a little different to you" she explained looking away.

I nodded "So well tell me something. You like me right?" I asked, Bella hesitated for a moment before nodding "And you think I'm sort of beautiful" I said quoting her from the other day. 

Bella sighed "Jake, please" she said softly "Don't do this" she said looking into my eyes before sitting down on the stairs. 

I wasn't going to stop though. Not yet. "Why?" I asked leaning against the rails.

Bella fiddled with her hands before looking up at me "Because we're about to ruin everything" she said, clearly struggling with this situation "And, I need you" She said softly.

I shrugged "Well I've got loads of time, I'm not gonna give up" I said truthfully.

Bella nodded "I don't want you to, but that's because I don't want you to go anywhere" she said. I frowned a little looking at her "And that's really selfish, I'm not like a car you can fix up, I'm never gonna run right" she said looking at me. This was the rawest I've ever seen her. "So I should be fair to you" she finalized. 

Part of me was angry "It's because of him right?" I asked, knowing this was because of that Cullen bastard. I sat down next to her and sighed "Look, I know what he did to you" I said "Bella I would never ever do that. I won't ever hurt you" I said and Bella nodded "I promise" and it was true. I'd rather die that have Bella hurt because of me. "I won't let you down, you can count on me" I said as Bella finally looked up at me. For a second I thought she was going to kiss me but she then rested her head on my shoulder.

"Well" Mike said sniffing as he approached the stairs from the bathroom "I need to go home" he said. Good, go and leave Bella and I in peace. I looked at him waiting for him to leave but he didn't catch on "I was feeling sick before the movie" he said trying to reduce his humiliation. Pathetic. I scoffed at him and he shook his head looking at me "What is your problem?" he asked.

Oh that did it. "Right now? Your my problem" I said "Feeling sick? Maybe you should go to the hospital" I suggested before standing and moving threateningly towards him "Want me to put you in the hospital?" I asked. 

"Jake, Jake the movie's over what are you doing?" Bella asked grabbing my arm and placing her hand on my chest to stop me. She then paused "Y-you're really hot. Like you feel like you have a fever, are you okay?" she asked. 

I paused and shook my head, feeling this burning heat welling up inside of me "I don't know whats happening" I said feeling hotter and hotter "I gotta go" I said before rushing out of the theater and into the car.

From that moment all I can remember for days is heat. Burning, constant heat. And this horrible pain. And then. Everything changed. Everything I knew, everything I was. Was gone.


	8. 08 - Rewind

(Bella's POV) 

Days had passed since the theater incident and I'd heard nothing but silence from Jake since. Billy told me he had Mono but he wouldn't answer his calls or his texts. He's never ignored me before and I thought, maybe after what he said that night, we would talk more. 

More and more days passed and still nothing but static. One day I decided that I'd had enough. I wanted answers.

I got in the truck and drove to the reservation, if Jake was sick it wanted to see it with my own eyes. As I was driving my mind kept drifting back to that night. "I won't ever hurt you" Jacob's voice rang through my head "You can count on me". I thought back to how much I just wanted to let everything go. To melt away into that moment forever. 

As I pulled up towards Jake's house I saw a guy walking in the pouring rain wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and shoes. He looked like the kind of guy Sam hung out with. And then it hit me. It was Jacob. 

I stopped the truck and got out "Jake!" I yelled, fury bubbling up inside me "Hey!" I yelled again, catching up to him till we were face to face "You cut your hair off? And got a tattoo?" I asked, this wasn't my Jake, this was someone else. 

He looked at me but I barely recognized him "Bella" he started but I wasn't going to let him speak yet.

"I thought you were too sick to come outside, or pick up the phone when I called" I said wanting answers.

"Go away" Jake said, that hurt. It felt like a knife sliding through my gut.

"W-what?" I asked, maybe I miss heard him.

"Go away" He repeated, as if it were so simple.

I shook my head in disbelief "What happened to you? What's wrong-" he begun to turn away but I wasn't having this end like this. Not again. "Hey!" I said grabbing his arm and turning him back to face me "What happened?" I asked "Did Sam get to you? Is that what's happening?" I asked, worried that the Jake I knew was gone.

Jake looked at me, for the first time ever he looked angry at me "Sam is trying to help me. Don't blame him" he said "But if you want someone to blame, how about those filthy blood suckers you love. The Cullens" Jacob spat with venom in his voice. 

How did he know? I looked away and shook my head "I don't know what you're talking about" I lied.

Jake got angrier "No you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've been lying to everyone, Charlie. But you can't lie to me, not anymore Bella" He said. My stomach dropped and I couldn't stop this. I was losing everything again. 

I heard someone yelling Jake's name from the tree line and saw four men standing there waving Jake over. Jake looked at them then turned back to me "Look Bella, we can't be friends anymore" He said. No. I can't handle this. I won't.

I shook my head feeling my resolve I'd slowly built over the months fade and crumble "Look Jake I know that I've been hurting you, it-its killing me, it kills me" I said, glad that the rain would cover any tears that may fall "I just need, maybe give me some time or something" I pleaded.

Jake shook his head "Don't, its not you" he said.

I rolled my eyes "It's not you, its me right? Really?" I asked, not believing my ears.

Jake nodded "It's true, it is me. I'm not good" He said as if struggling with his words "I used to be. A good kid. Not anymore, look this doesn't even matter alright? This is over" he said. 

I couldn't take this "You can't break up with me" I said looking down "I mean, your my best friend" I said, looking back up at him. I was grasping at thin air, trying to stop myself from falling into the darkness again "You promised me" I said almost pleading.

Jake nodded a little "I know. I promised I wouldn't hurt you Bella, and this is me keeping that promise" he said. No. "Go home and don't come back, or you're gonna get hurt" he said before turning around and running to the treeline where the other men were still waiting. 

And that was it. Everything that was keeping me together was now gone again. It's like someone hit rewind on my life and I was reliving all the pain again.

***********

Charlie had gone out fishing so I decided I wanted to get out. I packed my bag and drove to the woods before hiking up the the meadow Edward and I used to share. I trekked through the woods, memories of Edward and Jacob flashing through my head as I continued. Finally I reached my meadow. The one that always had beautiful flowers blossoming. But when I looked upon the meadow all I saw was death, it was all dead and dry. Nothing green or colorful in sight. It was the final blow that knocked me down.

I sank to my knees and felt my heart in my throat. Everything was gone. And maybe Edward never really did exist, one thing I knew for certain is that I was completely and utterly alone.

I stood, ready for this to end, I looked across the field and saw someone. Laurent.

I frowned "Laurent?" I asked. Last time I saw him, he was warning me that James was after me and last I heard of him, he was staying with the Cullen's cousins up north, to become like the others.

He flashed closer to me and I could then see this was real, I wasn't imagining this "I didn't expect to find you here" he said "I went to visit the Cullens but, the house is empty" he continued "I'm surprised that they left you behind, aren't you some kind of pet of their's?" He asked.

I thought before nodding "Yeah you could say that" I said.

Laurent begun to circled me "Do the Cullens, visit often?" He asked.

And then, for the first time in months I saw him. Edward appeared in front of me "Lie" he commanded.

I nodded "Yeah, absolutely all the time" I said.

"Lie better" Edward told me. 

I knew he was right if I wanted to survive "I'll tell them that you stopped by, but I probably shouldn't tell Edward" I said trailing off as Laurent continued to circle me like a predictor circling his prey "Cause he's pretty protective" I said.

Laurent shrugged "But he's far away isn't he?" He asked.

I didn't know how to answer that so I evaded "Why are you here?" I asked.

"I came as a favor to Victoria" He admitted. My heart stopped. 

I raised an eyebrow "Victoria?" I asked.

Laurent nodded "She asked me to see if you were still under the protection of the Cullens" he said continuing to circle me "Victoria feels its only fair to kill Edward's mate, given he killed hers" He explained "An eye for an eye" 

Edward appeared again beside me "Threaten him" He said.

I tried to work through my fear "Edward would know who did it, and he'd come after you" I said.

Laurent shook his head "I don't think he will. How much could you mean to him, if he left you here unprotected?" He challenged before sighing "Victoria won't be happy about my killing you, but I can't help myself, you are so mouth watering" he said. 

I then began to panic, there was no one here. No one to stop him, no one to know. "Please don't, I-I mean you helped us" I pleaded.

Laurent flashed closer to me hushing me as he did so "Don't be afraid" he said holding my face in his hands "I'm doing you a kindness, Victoria plans on killing you slowly, painfully. Where as I'll make it quick, I promise you'll feel nothing" he said before he raised his arm. 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, this was it. As a last effort I thought to confess my love for Edward. 

I was waiting to die when I heard growling and Laurent whisper in disbelief. I opened my eyes and looked over in the direction of the growling.

Wolves. And not just any wolves, huge, giant wolves. Laurent ran and the wolves chased after him, all apart from one. One looked me dead in the eye, and for a second those eyes resonated a spark of familiarity in me before said wolf chased after the others. 

I didn't think twice, I ran. I ran fast and far all the way back to my truck and raced home. 

I ran into the kitchen and looked at Charlie "Dad I saw them" I said, still panicked. 

Charlie frowned "What's the matter?" he asked. 

"In the woods, they're not bears" I stated. 

"What do you mean in the woods? Bells what the hell were you doing out in the woods?" Charlie asked.

"They're wolves" I continued, needing to get this out "I mean they're like, huge wolves" I said.

"Are you sure about that Bella?" Harry Clearwater asked.

I nodded strongly "Yeah I just saw them, they were after... Something" I said leaving out the almost near death experience due to a revenge crazed vampire assistant.

Charlie took a deep breath "Wolves? You saw them?" he asked. I nodded and Charlie was finally convinced "Alright, Harry feel like going hunting?" he asked "Get some of your guys together?" He added. 

Harry nodded "Sure, yeah I'll just, go" he said trailing off and making his way out of the kitchen.

Then the panic stopped and the reality of the situation kicked in, by now those wolves would be dead and Laurent would have told Victoria that I'm unprotected.

Charlie left to go to the station and banned me from leaving the house. As if in a trance I went upstairs and into my room to contemplate my fate.


	9. 09 - Stories

(Jacob's POV)

It was hard not to chase after Bella when I told her to leave but I had my orders. However after we ripped that leech to shreds I had to see her, Alpha orders or no, I had to make her understand.

That night I stood under her bedroom window and threw some pebbles at her window, being careful not to break it with my newfound strength "Bella" I called in a loud whisper.

After a few moments Bella appeared at the window, opening it "Christ, you scared me. What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Step back, I'm coming up" I said before swinging off the tree and into her bedroom. 

"Hey" I said softly, she didn't say anything "Look, I'm sorry" I apologized as I went to hug her but she held her fist in front of her pressing into my stomach to stop me. I physically hurt seeing her like this "Bells" I said softly. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a step back away from me before shaking her head and looking up at me "For what?" she asked.

I sighed "I wish I could explain" I said in a defeated tone "but I literally can't" I added. It took all my strength to leave the Rez to talk to Bella. I walked past her and smiled a little seeing the dream catcher I gave her hanging above her pillows. 

I took a deep breath and turned to face Bella "Have you ever had a secret you couldn't tell anyone?" I asked knowing full well she knew what I meant "One that wasn't yours to share" I elaborated. She shifted uncomfortably and I nodded "Well that's what its like for me, only worse. You have no idea how tight I'm bound" I finalized sitting on the edge of Bella's bed.

Bella sighed stepping towards me "I hate this" she said before grabbing my hair lightly between her fingers "I hate what they've done to you" she added. 

I grabbed her hand and slowly lowered it before seeing a scar on her wrist. I frowned before I realized what it was. It was a bite mark. I looked up at her and she covered it with her other hand "The killer part is you already know" I said standing in front of her. "Bella, do you remember when we walked on the beach at La Push? The st-" I stopped, the alpha order stopping me from going any further.

Bella then clicked on "The story. The story about the cold ones" she said.

My heart deflated and I nodded "I guess I understand why thats the only part you remember" I said and stepped away from her.

Bella sighed "There's got to be something that you can do" she said.

I shook my head and turned around to look at her "No, I'm in it for life" I said.

She frowned "Well maybe we should just get out of here for a while? You know just leave, just me and you" she suggested. 

I looked at her surprised at what she was suggesting "You would do that?" I asked.

She nodded seemingly fighting for the right words "I'd do it for you" she said.

I looked away, wanting so badly to say yes and just leave now "Its not something I can just run away from Bella" I said begrudgingly "But I would, run away with you, if I could" I admitted, looking back at her.

I sighed knowing Sam would start to catch on if I stayed any longer "I gotta go, they'll start wondering where I am" I said stepping towards Bella. 

She looked as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. I smiled a little and pulled her close "Come here" I said pulling her into a hug. She hugged me tightly like she usually did when she needed me not to let go. I took a deep breath "Please, try to remember" I said softly before beginning to let her go "It would be so much easier if you knew" I added.

She finally let go and nodded "I will but Jake" she said as I turned to leave "Jake what are you? Jake?" She asked in a slight panicked tone as I jumped out of the window. I didn't have time to explain so I just ran off into the cover of the woods in order to phase. 

I managed to keep all thoughts of me leaving the Rez to see Bella out of my mind but I'm sure Sam knew. I finished my rounds and went straight to bed hoping Bella would figure it out.

************

I awoke to my dad shaking me "Jake! Bella is confronting Sam!" he yelled, my eyes flew open and I shot up and raced out of the house to see Paul had shifted and was standing threateningly as Bella backed away.

The wolf inside of me snarled at Paul, wanting to protect Bella. I called her name as she ran towards me but the wolf was in more control. I jumped over the porch rails and raced towards Bella and the pack. The last thing I heard was Bella screaming to run before I launched myself over her and phased.

I stood defensively, growling at Paul. Don't you touch her! I yelled at him, our telepathic link allowed us to communicate in our minds, sometimes unwillingly.

Paul growled back snapping his jaws at me, Step aside Jacob he replied. 

I snarled and launched myself at him tumbling into the woods as we collided. Nor me or the wolf were going to stop until Paul gave in and agreed never to touch Bella. Ever.

Mine! The wolf in me snarled.


	10. 10 - Scars

(Bella's POV)

I felt like my reality had been shattered yet all I could think is Jake. I shifted unconformably as Embry and Jared parked outside of a large house in the woods. They made a loud animal type yip and jumped out of the truck. I rolled down the window feeling increasingly more worried. 

"Hey I think we should go back and make sure Jake is okay" I said. 

Jared laughed "Serves him right, let Paul sink some teeth in him" he said continuing towards the house.

Embry laughed "No way, Jakes a natural, did you see him phase on the fly? I got five says Paul doesn't touch him" he said, my head was spinning. Was it possible that all the stories are true, all the myths and horror stories. 

When I didn't move from my seat in the truck the boys turned to me from the porch "Come on Bella, we won't bite" Embry said. 

Jared chuckled and shook his head "Speak for yourself" he said before walking into the house.

I stepped out of the truck and followed after the two boys, Embry turned to me as I approached "Oh and about Emily, Sam's fiance, don't stare. It bugs Sam" he said. 

I frowned and shook my head "Why would I stare" I asked but Embry had already walked through the door. I heard a light female voice coming from inside and it sounded so welcoming and warm I had little fear walking into the house. 

Jared and Embry were sat at the table eating muffins, the young Quilute woman whom I assumed was Emily turned to place a large tray of muffins on the table. She saw me by the door and looked at the boys "Who's this?" she asked. 

As she turned completely I saw three large scars on the right side of her face stretching from her temple to her jaw. I suppressed a gasp and realized then that those scars are why I would stare. I quickly blinked and tried to avert my eyes while looking casual. 

Embry looked up and mumbled around his food "Bella Swan who else?" he asked. 

Emily smiled knowingly and looked back over at me "Oh, so you're the vampire girl?" she asked. 

I resisted the internal cringe that came with that word and nodded "So your the wolf girl?" I asked stepping further into the room.

Emily smiled and chuckled lightly "Guess so, well I'm engaged to one" she said as she placed the tray of muffins on the table. Emily had a very comforting nature and I found myself voluntarily walking even further into the room to join the others by the table.

Jared and Embry reached for more muffins but Emily swatted their hands away "Save some for your brothers, and ladies first" she said gesturing to me "Muffin?" she offered. 

I smiled and nodded stepping forward "Sure, thanks" I said as I grabbed one of the muffins.

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around Sam's gag order" Emily said.

I frowned and stepped back to lean against the wall "Um, he didn't say anything to me" I said, sacred Jake was now going to get into trouble for me knowing.

Embry shook his head "That's a wolf thing, alpha's orders get obeyed whether we want them to it not" he said "Oh and check it out, we can hear each others thoughts" he added.

Jared turned to him gaping "Shut up, these are trade secrets! Danmit this chick runs with vampires" he proclaimed, gesturing to me.

I scoffed "You can't really run with vampires" I said, Emily laughed and looked at Jared as she made more muffins "Cause they're fast" I adding emphasis to the word fast. 

Jared scoffed back "Yeah? Well we're faster" he defended "Freaked out yet?" he asked.

I shook my head "You're not the first monsters I've met" I said.

"Jake's right, you're good with weird" Sam announced as he walked into the house and right over to his fiancé. I saw Emily's face light up before Sam kissed her and I genuinely couldn't remember the last time I was that happy. Maybe I never really was. 

After a moment Paul and Jake made their way in joking around with each other, guess they made up with no problems. Paul sat at the table and turned to me "Sorry" he said before digging into the muffins before him. 

I just nodded and looked over at Jake, usually seeing Jake made me feel calm and secure but this wasn't my Jacob, this was something completely unknown to me. 

He made a gesture behind him, insinuating to follow him. I said goodbye to the others and thanked Emily for the muffin before walking out of the house with Jacob. 

We walked in silence to La Push, presumably because neither of us were ready to talk about what just happened.

Once we reached the beach I'd had enough of the silence.

"So you're a werewolf?" I asked, trying to start a conversation. 

"Yeah, last time I checked" he said. 

I struggled for words. The bears that have been killing hikers, the ones Charlie has been trying to find. Were wolves. More specifically werewolves, one of which being my best friend. I can't believe my best friend is a murderer.

Jake continued "A few lucky members of the tribe have the gene, a blood sucker moves in, then the fever starts" he said. 

I laughed humorlessly "Mono" I said, referring to what Billy told me when I asked about Jake in the days before.

Jake shared my humorless laughter "Yeah, I wish" he said. 

I nodded sighing "Well can't you find a way to just, stop?" I asked "I mean its just wrong" I still couldn't believe my best friend killed and ate people. 

Jake stopped walking in front of me "Its not a lifestyle choice Bella" he said, he sounded angry "I was born this way, I can't help it. You're such a hypocrite, what I'm not the right monster for you?" he asked sounding angrier and angrier.

That sparked a fire in me. How dare Jake say that to me after what he and his kind has done. 

I shook my head "Its not what you are, its what you do. They never hurt anyone, Jake you've killed people" I said. 

Jake stepped towards me "Bella we're not killing anyone" he said.

I frowned, all my anger drained from me, as did all my energy "Then who is?" I asked.

"The ones we're trying to protect you people from, the only thing we do kill" he said pausing "Vampires"


	11. 11 - Dive

(Jacob POV)

Bella gaped at me shaking her head "Jake you can't" she began. 

I rolled my eyes, knowing where this was going "Don't worry, we can't touch your precious Cullens. Not unless they break the treaty" I said. Although it took all of my strength not to hunt down Edward and rip him to pieces.

Bella shook her head again stepping forward "No Jake that's not what I meant, you can't kill vampires. They'll kill you" she said. 

That hurt my pride a little but not as much as if she was defending the Cullens. I raised an eyebrow at her "We took out that leech with the dreads easy enough" I said, killing him was like childs play. 

Bella frowned "Laurent?" she asked, not that we stopped to exchange pleasantries before we ripped him to shreds.

I just nodded "And his little red head girlfriend is next" I added. 

Bella then turned pale, well even more pale than usual "V-Victoria? She's here?" she asked, she reeked of fear, it was tumbling off of her in waves.

I nodded skeptically "Was, we chased her all the was up to the Canadian border the other night but she keeps coming back. We dont know what she's after" I said, still perplexed as to why she'd keep coming back if she knew this area was protected 

Bella shook "I do" she said and I frowned questioningly at her "Me" she said. 

The wolf inside of me snarled viciously. Now we had a motive it would be easier to track and kill her but her motive was Bella. My Bells. 

I nodded and took a deep breath "Alright, now we know her motive. Come on let's get you home" I said, placing my hand on Bella's shoulder. She simply nodded weakly and walked with me back to Emily's house. 

She climbed into the passenger seat of the truck and I drived her home. We sat in comfortable silence throughout the journey and once I pulled up in the driveway it felt like we were normal Jake and Bells again. 

I walked with her to the door and smiled at her as she looked around cautiously "Don't worry, we've got this place covered. She won't get near you or Charlie" I said reassuringly and wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders. 

Bella nodded and stopped at the door, turning to look at me "Look, you've got to be careful. She's fast, you don't know how fast she is" she said. 

I chuckled "Y'know your lack of confidence in us is a little insulting" I said. Bella raised her eyebrows a little but nodded "I gotta go" I said, though I didn't want to.

Bella looked as disappointed as I felt but nodded again "You have to go" she repeated. 

I nodded "Got a vampire to kill" I said smiling a little, I took in the moment before finally accepting I had to leave.

I ran to the treeline for cover before shifting. As much as I hated this curse that had been thrusted upon me, I did love being a wolf, up until I begun to hear the chorus of voices in my head.

I can't believe Bella thought we were the ones killing people Embry's voice chimed in as I ran towards La Push. I huffed in agreement but didn't bother joining the conversation. 

**************

The next week or so the entire pack were on rounds to hunt the red head. We barely got time to eat and sleep, but none of us complained. We all knew how important killing this leach was. 

Not only did we want to protect our territory, and Bella, but it was like the red head was toying with us. She'd let us get close before diving into to sea or crossing a border. She'd laugh at us too, like it was a big game. It made us all just want to rip her to shreds that much more. 

Today though, was the day, I could feel it. Something was going to happen. 

I got call from Jared that he spotted her and I ran to shift immediately. I ran faster than I had ever ran before and finally caught sight of the red headed leach, she turned to look at me as she ran and smiled before running faster. 

I snarled viciously and ran faster snapping my jaws after her. Just before I could clamp my jaws on her hair and rip her head off, she jumped off the cliff and into the sea below.

God damn it I almost had her I snarled angrily.

Jake? Sam's voice chimed. It didn't sound right and dread washed over me as I saw Harry Clearwater in Sam's mind falling to the ground clutching his chest. I then saw Embry's, Harry laying cold on the forest floor. 

I froze What happened? I asked, frozen in shock.

He had a heart attack, the red head jumped him and the shock was too much for him Sam replied. I sat on the grounded and howled loudly, pain gushing from my chest. Harry was family to all of us. 

After a few moments Sam informed me of everyone going to the Clearwater's house.

Jake, Charlie just told me he can't find Bella, I told him that she was with you so he wouldn't worry but you have to find her. She's not safe with that leach on the loose Embry told me. I bolted up and didn't bother to reply. I had to find Bella.

I sniffed the air, trying to catch her scent, after a while I found her trail and followed it all the way to the cliff. I whined, not seeing her. I looked over the edge and there were bubbles of air raising to the surface of the rough water. I barely thought as I shifted back into my human form, pulled on my shorts and dived into the water. I saw Bella unconscious and slowly sinking. 

My heart retched seeing her like that and I grabbed her, quickly pulling her to the surface and swam to shore. 

I laid her down on the sand and begun to perform CPR as school had thought us too in 5th grade. 

"Come on Bella, breathe" I begged. After a few times of me breathing into her lungs and pumping her chest, she coughed and spat up sea water. I sighed in releif and turned her in her side slightly. "Bella, can you hear me?" I asked as she opened her eyes. 

She looked at me then "Jake?" she asked. I felt so much relief wash over me. 

"Come here" I said scooping her up into my arms "What the hell were you thinking?" I asked.

She shook her head slightly "I just, wanted to see something" she said. 

Before I could respond Sam ran onto the beach, shopping a few yards away from us "Get her home! I'm going to go help out at Harry's place!" he yelled before running back off in the direction he came from. 

Bella frowned "What's happening at Harry's?" she asked. 

I bit back another urge to howl inside "Harry Clearwater had a heart attack, Charlie and my dad are there with his family" I said.

Bella looked up at me, eyes drowning in concern "Is he okay?" she asked. 

I swollowed the lump in my throat and shook my head "He's gone" I said, Bella looked down and went quiet "Come on, let's get you into something warm and I'll drive you home" I said lifting Bella up. 

I walked with her to my house and gave Bella some clean dry clothes to wear before finding her truck and driving her home. 

Halfway back to her house I noticed her shivering getting worse "180 degrees over here" I said briefly looking over at her before focusing back on the road.

Bella scooted closer to me and snuggled into my side, sighing at the warmth "God" she muttered "My hands are freezing, must be nice never getting cold" she said as she hugged my arm.

I smiled as I continued to drive "Its a wolf thing" I said semi proudly.

Bella shook her head "No its not, its a Jacob thing. You're just warm" she said. I couldn't deny hearing her say that made my heart beat a little faster.


	12. 12 - Italy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than my usual but it needed to be. I will say this is the marker of where everything changes from the canon plot lines. Get ready for an adventure.

(Bella's POV)

I felt incredibly guilty for what I'd done, Harry was dead and I decided to throw myself off a cliff just to hear the voice of a guy who left. I no longer want him back. Real or not that dive put me in perspective. He left and told me he didn't want me anymore. 

I moved closer to Jacob, enjoying the familiarity of his comforting presence, I was lucky he was there to pull me out of the water. Come to think of it, how did he know?

Jake hummed softly as he drove "I tracked your scent, Embry told me that Charlie couldn't reach you on your cell so with that leach still out there we had to find you quickly" he said as if it was nothing. 

My stomach clenched in a fresh wave of guilt as I thought of my dad and what I'd put him through "I'm sorry" I whispered.

Jake kissed the top of my head softly "It's okay" he said just as softly as his kiss. 

I still felt guilty but knowing Jake wasn't mad at me or didn't blame me made me feel a little better.

Soon we pulled up outside my house and we just sat there for a while. Today had drained us both and neither of us were in a hurry to leave our little Jake and Bella bubble. 

Jake wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled into him, it felt natural.

Jake then sighed leaning into me "Is it better?" I asked.

"Now that you know about me" he said, but there was more.

"But?" I asked looking up at him.

Jake sighed again "You saw what happened to Emily, Sam got angry, lost it for a split second and Em was standing too close. He will never be able to take that back" he said before looking at me "What if I get mad at you? Sometimes... I feel like, I'm gonna disappear" He said quietly. 

It always caught me off guard when Jacob spoke so rawly how he felt. He never felt embarrassed to tell me things. 

I knew he was talking about the werewolf thing and sat up to look at him properly "Look I know you might not me to tell you something like this. But I always will. You're not going to loose yourself. I won't let that happen" I said honestly. I know I loved Jake, I just don't think I love him the same way he loves me. 

He looked up at me, eyes full of hope and sorrow, they almost hurt to look at "How?" he asked, nothing more than a whisper.

"I'll tell you all the time, how special you are" I said sofyly. 

Jake gently placed his hand on my cheek and I instinctively leaned into its warmth, I looked into Jake's eyes and he seemed to hesitate before slightly leaning in. 

I leaned in a little too, instinct still guiding me. slowly we were so close I could feel Jake's hot breath washing over my face. I wanted to kiss him. In this moment I just wanted to let everything go and kiss him. But I was tired, I still tasted seawater and bile, I couldn't kiss him like that. 

I took a deep breath and rested my forhead on Jake's shoulder "Thank you for driving me home, for everything" I said softly before pulling away and opening the passenger door. Jake flinched and pulled me back, shutting the door as consequence. 

I spun around to frown at him "Jake what the hell?" I asked as he started the engine.

He shook his head "There's a leech here" he said.

I frowned deeper "How can you tell?" I asked. 

Jake reved the engine as I looked around "I can smell their stench" he said.

I turned around to look at the driveway and saw a black Mercedes "That's Carlisle's car!" I said trying to get out of the truck.

Jake grabbed my hand panicking "Bella no, it could be a trap" he said. 

I pulled my hand away and got out of the truck, I didnt care if it was Edward but if it was Carlisle or Emmett or Esme, I had to see them. Jake got out of the truck and ran to me stopping me.

"Bella if a Cullen is here its their territory. The treaty says we can only defend our own land" he said eyes pleading. 

I shook my head "Its okay they're my friends" I said, walking around him.

Jake grabbed my hand trying to stop me "I can't protect you here" he said.

I pulled my hand away "I don't need you to" I stated, not in a cruel way, but the Cullen's would never hurt me.

Jake shook his head "You're about to cross the line" he called after me.

I turned to look at him, seeing hurt in his eyes "Then don't draw one, please" I said softly before turning back around and heading into the house. 

I turned into the living room and saw a familiar short woman with short brown spiky hair, I grinned "Alice!" I exclammed and ran to hug her.

She froze even more than she usually is "Bella!" she said surprised.

I hugged her tighter before pulling away "What, what are you doing here?" I asked.

Alice still looked at me as if I was a ghost "Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?" she asked.

I frowned at her "What?" I asked. 

Alice shook her head "I saw a vision of you, you jumped off a cliff" she said disbelievingly before getting angry "Bella why would you try to kill yourself? What about Charlie?" She asked.

I shook my head placing my hand on Alice's arm "I didn't try to kill myself, I was cliff diving, recreationally. It was fun" I said with a shrug.

Alice scoffed "Fun? I have never met anyone more prone to life threatening idiocy" she said shaking her head. I looked down sheepishly and sat on the couch, Alice sat next to me.

I shifted a little, playing with my hands "Did you... Did you tell him?" I asked. The thought of Edward knowing I jumped off a cliff was more embarrassing then I could handle. 

Alice shook her head "He only calls once every few months, he says he wants to be alone" she said before wrinkling her nose "Bella what is that god awful wet dog smell?" she asked. 

I was confused for a moment before I realized "Oh sorry, that's me. or rather Jacob" I said, taking off the Jake's jacket. 

Alice frowned "Jacob?" she asked curiously.

I nodded "Jake's kind of a werewolf" I explained.

Alice whined "Bella, werewolves are not good company to keep" she said. 

I was about to reply when Jacob's voice startled me "Speak for yourself" he said from the doorway. I looked over at him, feeling a comforting warmth spread through my chest "I had to see if you were okay" he said to me.

I repressed a small smile "I thought you couldn't protect me here?" I asked.

Jacob shrugged "Guess I don't care" he said softly. 

I couldn't help a small smile appear, at least he isn't mad at me. Alice scoffed at him "Well I'm not going to hurt her" she said.

Jake nodded "No, you're just a harmless little Cullen. I'm talking about the other bloodsucker, who tried to kill Bella because of you" he said. 

I cringed back into the couch "Victoria?" Alice asked. 

I nodded "Yeah, Victoria has been around" I confirmed. 

Alice frowned "I didn't see her, I didn't see you get pulled out of the water either" she said before looking at Jacob "I can't see past you and your pack of mutts!" she spat.

I looked over at her disapprovingly and Jake let out a low growl "Don't get me upset" he said. 

I could see him getting angry "Hey, stop!" I said trying to butt in.

Jake just continued "Things are going to get very ugly!" he growled, beginning to shake. 

I stood and threw myself in front of Jacob, placing my hands on his chest "Stop, stop, stop!" I yelled.

Jake snapped his vision away from Alice and looked down at me. He stopped shaking and softened slightly. I let out a small breath of relief and looked over at Alice who stood. 

"I'll give you a minute" she said turning to leave. 

A rush of panic shot through me and I grabbed her hand "Hey you're not going anywhere, you're gonna come back right?" I asked.

Alice smiled warmly at me "As soon as you put the dog out" she said before leaving. 

I took a deap breath and made my way into the kitchen, Jake followed. I glanced at him before pouring myself a glass of water and drinking the entire thing. It was a relief to have that bitter, salty taste out of my mouth. 

"Is he...? Are the others? How many Cullens are here and how long are they staying?" Jake finally asked. 

A small shard of anger flashed through me. That was all he had to say?

I shook my head "No, its just Alice and she can stay as long as she wants" I said putting the glass I still held in the sink.

"Are the rest coming back?" he asked, staying in his place by the door. 

I turned to him "No, not that I know of. Anything else?" I asked.

Jake shook his head "That's it" he said. 

I let the ice I was feeling seep into my words "Well if that's all then you better go run back to Sam" I said turning away from him.

Jake sighed and I heard him taking steps towards me "I've done it again, I keep breaking my promise" he said softly, he placed his hand on my shoulder and gently turned me to face him. 

I sighed "We don't have to do this to each other" I said softly, looking Jake in the eye.

Jake nodded, placing his hand on my cheek "Yes we do. Bella.... Que quowle" He said, I didn't know what he said in Quilute but I knew it meant a lot. 

Jake leaned in again and this time I wasn't going to stop him. I closed my eyes and leaned into him. Our lips barely graised each other before the phone behind us began to ring.

Jake sighed and pulled away to answer the phone, I held in a whine at the loss of contact. Jake smiled at me as he put the phone to his ear "Swan residence" he said with a charming smile. I smiled back, blushing a little, Jake's smile dropped as he listened to the caller "He's not here" he said, anger thick in his voice. I frowned questioningly at him but he wasn't looking at me "He's planning a funeral" he said before slamming the phone back in its holder. 

"Who was that?" I asked, stepping towards Jake. 

Jake clenched his fists "Always in the way" he muttered, rage rolling off him in waves of heat.

I frowned deeper "Who was that?" I asked again, getting increasingly more worried. 

Jake begun to shake "Bella step back" he said. 

I instinctively took a few steps back but I was really worried now "Jake, who was that?" I demanded.

Jake was about to answer when Alice rushed in "Bella! Bella its Edward, He thinks you're dead. Rosalie told him why I came here" she said panicking. 

I turned to Jacob, furious "Why would you... Why didn't you let me speak to him?!" I yelled, I may not have been obsessed with Edward anymore but I still cared. 

Jake snapped "He didn't ask for you!" he yelled back. 

I shook my head "I don't care!" I stated almost hysterical.

Alice stepped in "Bella, Bella he's going to the Volturi. He wants to die too" She said. That was it, I had to go. 

I span around and grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen and scribbled down a note for Charlie before turning to Alice. "Let's go. Now" I said, following her out to her car. 

Jake raced after us grabbing my arm to stop me "He left you, Bella. He didn't want you anymore remember?" he asked.

I pulled my arm away and got in the car "I'm not going to let him kill himself out of guilt" I said, closing the door and rolling down the window. 

Jake bent down holding the door by the bottom of the open window. He looked hurt and desperate "What about your dad?" He asked. 

I shook my head doing up my seatbelt "I'm eighteen, I'm legally free to go, and I left a note" I said. 

Jake was grasping at straws "Please Bella. Just, stay here. Not for Charlie... For me" He said quietly, begging. 

I looked at him, really looked at him and my heart broke. I loved Jake, I really did but I couldn't stay. I couldn't let another person die because of me. I took a deep breath and leaned forward and kissed Jake on the cheek. A long, soft kiss. "I'll be back soon Jake" I said before turning to Alice.

She nodded and revved the engine and drove, very fast, out of town.


	13. 13 - Gone

(Jacob's POV)

From the moment that Bella left it was as if there was this giant gaping hole in my chest. I ran into the woods to phase after that leech stole my Bells. I fell onto my paws and ran, I didn't exactly know where I was going, I just knew I had to get away. I huffed as I trotted to a stop and sat down on the grass of a large clearing.

All of the events of today crashed down on me and all of the loss and grief I felt over whelmed me. I raised my head up to the night sky and let it all out. I howled and howled, louder than I had ever dared to howl before. When I was done I just hung my head. I was powerless, Bella would always choose Edward and people will always die at the hands of leeches.

Now you know that's not true Jake Embry said softly, I didn't know how long he'd been listening but it didn't matter. We heard your howls. I volunteered to check on you. Embry answered the unasked question.

She's gone I said She chose him I couldn't stand this, the hole in my chest ached like a bullet wound. 

It's going to be okay Jake, she said she's coming back. Maybe she won't choose him Embry said, trying to be hopeful but I couldn't believe it. She already choose him.

I was done trying to be cheared up. I got up and ran back to the rez, I phased back and walked into my house and straight to my room. I was done.

************

The next two days were just a blur of condolences and patrols. From between all the preperations for Harry's funeral and the hunting for the red headed leach, I barely had time to think about Bella and the pack knew better than to bring her up. So of course I thought today would be no different, but I was wrong of course. The moment I walked into Sam and Emily's I heard the arguing. I sighed and walked into the kitchen to see Seth and Leah Clearwater.

Everyone went quiet when I made my presence known, Leah looked at Sam and Emily then me before making a sound of frustration and getting up from the table "I'm not dealing with this right now" she said before storming out.

I frowned and looked over at Sam "The hell?" I asked as I walked over and grabbed a muffin from the table.

Sam sighed and shook his head "The fever is setting in for the Clearwater kids. Paul and I are trying to handle it but with Leah..." he trailed off. All of us were well versed on the whole situation with Sam and Leah.

I simply nodded and finished the muffin I was eating, I definitely was not going to get involved with that unless I was ordered to. I grabbed another muffin and sat at the table "What are the patrols for today?" I asked. 

"You and Embry have the next shift around the town border until sundown then Jared and Paul will take over, I took this morning's shift" Sam said sitting down next to Seth, who seemed to be in shock over the whole situation. 

I nodded and scarfed down the muffin before standing up and patting Seth lightly on the shoulder "Don't worry kid, the pack are your family now and we'll take care of you" I said softly, I knew how scary it was facing your first phase. 

Seth looked up at me and smiled weakly "Thank you" he replied. I nodded before waving to Sam and Emily and left to phase and join Embry to start our patrol.

The day passed uneventfully and the patrol was boring up until Embry and I decided to test each other with races and other physical challenges. When Paul and Jared phased Embry and I made our way back to the rez to sleep. I got back home and greeted my dad before walking into the kitchen "You had dinner yet dad?" I asked.

Billy wheeled in and nodded "I went over to Charlie's" he said a little hesitantly.

I frowned looking at him "Charlie made you dinner?" I asked, which was very doubtful. More than likely he and Charlie ate take out and watched TV all afternoon.

Billy cleared his throat "Not exactly. Bella did." He said, I looked at him with wide eyes "She got back around noon, she told me she's been trying to get a hold of you all day" he added.

I frowned and pulled my phone out of my pocket to see 12 missed calls and 3 text messages. Well at least she was alive. I shrugged and put my phone back in my pocket. "She chose him, I don't want apologies only to watch her run back to her leech" I said. Of course I didn't fully mean it, I still loved Bella and I did want apologies and missed calls but watching her get in that car and drive off to save that Cullen was more pain than I was ready to go through just yet.

Billy looked at me skeptically before accepting that I probably meant what I said and wheeled back out into the living room. I sighed and sat at the table and pulled my phone back out of my pocket. I took a deep breath and opened the first text message.

Bella:

I'm sorry I left. I'm on the plane back now and I was hoping we could maybe talk when I get home?

I shook my head and opened the next text message.

Bella:

Okay, I get it. You probably need some space. Guessing by the fact you haven't answered any of my calls you don't want to talk. Its fine. 

I sighed again and rested my head on the table. I knew I was probably going to give in eventually but the hole in my chest was still aching and I didn't think I could hear Bella tell me she was back with Edward. After all I'd done to help her heal, help her learn to be human again. I couldn't take it.

After a few moments I lifted my head once again and opened the final text message.

Bella:

Jake. I will give you time and space if you want. But I really need to talk to you. After that I'll even leave you alone forever if you want. My window will be open.

I battled with myself for a moment but finally decided to go. I knew I'd regret it but I just couldn't keep myself away. I put my phone on the counter before leaving the house and running to the treeline to phase.  

I stood outside Bella's window for a fair few minutes debating whether or not to just turn around and go back home. Finally I decided it'd be better to just get this over with, I took a deep breath before jumping and swinging myself through Bella's window. 

Bella was sat on her bed in her pajamas staring at her hands, when she heard me enter she looked up and smiled slightly "Oh thank god" she whispered and let out a large breath.

I hid my joy to see her and crossed my arms "What did you want to tell me?" I asked, if she was going to break my heart then I wanted her to do it now rather than drag it out.

Bella got up and made her way over to me, when she got a little too close I took a step back. She looked a little hurt but stopped and looked down. "I just, I wanted to say that I'm sorry and warn you that the Cullens are coming back to Forks" she said quietly.

There it was. She chose him. I clenched my fists and turned to leave "Fine" I spat, ready to leave and not return. 

Bella grabbed my arm "Wait Jake" she said desperately clinging to my arm.

I spun around and scowled at her "No, Bella. I begged you not to go but you chose him" I spat angrily "You can't have both" I finalised, pulling my arm from her grip.

Bella shook her head and ran to stand in front of the window "Its not what you think Jake. Please let me explain" she begged. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a few deep breaths but reluctantly nodded. Bella let out another large breath "The Cullens are only coming back because of Victoria. I told them they didn't need to and that the pack could handle it but they wouldn't listen to me" she began. I opened my eyes to look at her and she was looking at me in a way that you would look at a wild animal, waiting to see if they were going to attack you or not. 

I took a deep breath and nodded "What happened in Italy?" I asked.

Bella sighed "Its a long story" she said softly.

I nodded and moved to sit on the edge of Bella's bed "I've got time" I said. I wanted to know everything.


End file.
